DECISIONS AND THEIR CONSEQUENCES 

“Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.  For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the Spirit shall of the Spirit reap life everlasting” (Galatians 6:7-8). 

In this next section of our study, we need to apply the four principles we have learned to our daily decisions.  This part of our study will be about practical everyday things.  One of the main decisions every young lady must face will be whom to choose for her life’s companion.  Many studies are given to the men about how to live and serve, but what is the young lady looking for in a mate?  What qualities should a husband possess? 

LESSON 5:  LOOKING FOR A GOOD HUSBAND (part 1 of 2) 

Suggested roles and responsibilities of the men include being a good husband and father, a good provider and employee as well as being a servant in the church (a teacher, song leader, preacher, deacon or elder—always ministering to the saints).  His decisions will be based on these roles day after day.  His decisions will not only affect his wife, but his children and perhaps the entire extended family. 

A man who becomes a husband is to leave his father and mother to be joined to his wife, to become her head, loving her as Christ loved the church and as he loves himself and his own body, nourishing and cherishing her (Eph 5:22-33).  His wife has a right to expect that of him when they marry.  As he becomes a father, another role or responsibility is born.  He is to bring up his children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, not provoking them to wrath (Eph 6:1).  Decisions that can affect these roles are: becoming a Christian or putting it off, whether to marry or when to marry, the temptation to be immoral before marriage, and so on. 

So why would young ladies need to know what the men are supposed to do?  Why would they want to study the roles and responsibilities of a husband and father?  Perhaps the best reason is that a young lady should know what to look for in a mate.  She should understand what is expected and be ready to make judgments about the caliber of person she is thinking of taking for her life’s companion.  No matter how handsome he might be, no matter how charismatic his personality is, if the man is not morally upright—loving and serving God, he cannot be a good husband. 

A fairly recent news article told about a young man in Nebraska and his child bride.  He was sentenced to spend prison time for “child abuse,” and obviously he made several bad choices.  He impregnated his wife before their marriage while she was only 12 years old, but ultimately he had married her and given the child a home and a name.  Using what you learn in this series of lessons so far, consider what his wrong choices or decisions were.  You should also consider what good choices he and his wife made (Deut 6:4-9).

Additionally, you should consider the decisions made by the parents on both sides.  Did the parents carry out their responsibilities toward the children?  Did they help protect them from potentially dangerous decisions and from temptations during their immaturity?  Did they teach them the value of chastity before marriage (1 Cor 7:9)?  How will these choices affect the extended family for the rest of their lives, maybe even for generations to come?  (For one such example see: That Boy is No Husband, by Gary Colley.

It is not my intention to scare anyone, but parents need to be very certain of what their children are doing every moment of the day (Pro 22:6).  Are you thinking to yourself, “This lady is suggesting we police our children?  Why, that gives them no freedom whatsoever to decide for themselves.” 

Before you make a snap judgment, you need to read selected sections of another article taken from a newspaper.  Excerpts from this and the article mentioned earlier may be found in the Appendix and are not intended for reproduction.  The account is of a young boy (age 13) who became involved with online predators. 

May I remind you that most states in the US still have laws protecting children under 16?  There has to be a reason for that.  Although adult desires may surface during the adolescent years, adult comprehension, judgment and decision-making abilities usually do not.  That has to be the reason God gave children into the care of parents for so many years.  Even the law of the land protects them against abandonment by “trusting” or careless parents. 

Young girls who are contemplating marriage will have to consider whether their prospective mates are “into” any of these things.  Sometimes love blinds the minds of young people, but parents should be there to help them in making good decisions.  Parents too may be fooled, but at least they have a better chance of seeing “the signs” of problems on the road ahead.  Each age group needs to be wary and alert to problems and not be afraid or intimidated into letting something go for the sake of peace.  After all, such decisions will affect everyone for years, maybe generations, to come. 

©

Beth Johnson

These lessons may be distributed freely without changes.